This Love Kill Me

LOVING someone has not always to posses her

Around the year 1998
I felt in love with a chinese girl, her name Siska. She lived in Pekalongan. My best friends felt in love with her too. All boys who trying to reached her love are Chinese, only me who are Javanese. There were 3 boys who felt in love with her, included me.
Then all of us with many ways to trying get her love, although we were friends.
We had been knowing each other. All of us has been spent the times for more then 1 years. But we has not yet know, who one she will choose among us.
One Saturday night, I came to her house then ask a question.
“Sis, who will you choose to ber your lover?” then She just silent not answer my question. “You know, I realy love you, What I should to do to make you love me??” then she looked at me “I realy like you but I have not yet love you. I need times to decide it” At that night then we both of us changed another topic.
Sometimes we go to the church together. I realy happy at that time. I tought, she has already love me. Despite of two boys still to trying get her love.They are my friends. But sometime I get jealous when she meet one of them.
Then one day, I get know that someone love her too. My another friend. So she’s got 4 (four) boys who love her. The times running fast, one year more has passed. On the year 1999 as usually I come to her house. Exactly on Saturday Night, I was suprised, after I parked my motorcycle at front of her house, looked another motorcyle which already parked. And then I entering her house, they had smiling to me. After 3 (three) of us talking and sometime make joke each other then suddenly we all just silent.
“Eka, I am so sorry. I know you have been love me but I found someone who I loved” said Siska.
“Who the boy lucky one?” replied me. She has just silent, seem afraid to me. Then I guessed, must be him, who sat next to her.
“Eka, I am so sorry again. I has already love him” said Siska.
Actually that boy are one of my best friends too. Sometime I had sharing my love matters to him, but he betrayed me.
“Please Eka, don’t upset. We are still being friend” said Siska.
I looking him, he just silent without any words. After I has heard it all then I as soon going out from her house. I can’t bear on any more.
At that time, I realy broken hearted and made want to choose die